I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
