i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
