I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
