So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
