Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
