I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
