K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
