how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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