i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
