youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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