Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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