this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
