Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize