community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
cat food counts as protein by the way
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
