so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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