I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
