..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
