real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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