so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize