I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
