I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
