She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
