she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
