I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
How does it feel to date your dad?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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