It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
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I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
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we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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