hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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