is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
