i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
