return my video game
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.