It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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