alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.