so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sorry about my life...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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