didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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