I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
