chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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