the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize