it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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