Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
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Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize