Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
