WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I am spending my child support on dildos
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
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On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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