just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
