dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
