No awkward lesbian experiences without me
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
