I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize