Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
