I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
