is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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