there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
