So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize