Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
