Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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