I showed him my bush... on skype.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
