I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
