Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
True college students do jello shots in the library
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