He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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