I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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