I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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