so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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