the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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