Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
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You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
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I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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