I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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