I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
