You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
