Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
