My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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