Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
her facebook's as public as her vagina
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
