I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
